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But just because you want to pretend your monsters don’t exist doesn’t mean they’re just going to magically go away. As I wrote in my book 101 Secrets for your Twenties,"Newly married and living in a small apartment is no place to store a luggage set full of your baggage.And marriage has the amazing ability to take all that you hoped would remain hidden and put it on stage for a nationally televised interview that your in-laws will be watching. Begin to ditch those bags now." Marriage is as everyday as it gets.
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Does your partner seek out ways to understand how you receive love and meet that need? If you or the person you’re dating loves out of their insecurities, their love will be needy and selfish.
After all, love can be the worst form of manipulation there is.
But when someone loves from their strengths, they know who they are and are drawing from a deep, full well to give to you without demanding a drink in return.
We all have insecurities, fears, failures, painful memories, and just all around unattractive stuff we’re hiding in the back of our closet.
However, many of our prayers seem to go, “God, help her to like me” or “Lord, help him to notice me,” rather than “Jesus, lead me to the person ...” When you begin to make a case for being with someone, maybe that person really isn’t the “one.” My most recurring prayer, in regards to relationships or not, is the same thing Solomon wanted when he answered God—“Give me wisdom and knowledge” (2 Chronicles 1:7-10).